Sugar meltdown

Today, I woke up way before my alarm clock went off (at 11 a.m. with a note to myself that I had to get to school before 2 p.m. because FREE PIZZA). Now that I've started a new and more miserable life with healthy food and exercise, I usually get up in the morning, grab some greek yoghurt with granola and watch some TV.  Maybe I woke up today and knew that I was going to break my new healthy routine of basically just eating things I think I would be served if I actually did go into military service, as the only reason I woke up today was literally to go get pizza. Because when I got up I had this crazy craving for sugar. More specifically, I craved for skolebrød.


Skolebrød is a delicious desert that only old people have for breakfast.  So I put on my tennis shoes and ran down to the grocery store and grabbed one while I kept telling my self that I'm like Manny from "Modern Family" - an ancient soul trapped in a young body. When I came back to my apartment, I decided to eat half of it. Spoiler: that didn't work out well, because before even thinking twice, I consumed the second half. To top it all off, I found a chocolate in my frigde. Ate 100 grams of that as well (just pretend that you understand the metric system, I have no intention of translating. I hope Mrs. Stark doesn't read this, but culinary arts was my biggest blow off class as I never learned the American measure system. So... I basically just ate the food).

You could say that I reached a milestone in this meltdown project. Also, you can just choose to swap the word "sugar" with "meth". So yeah, I had a lot of meth this morning, and that all without being bored or stressed out, which is when I usually crack and eat a lot of... meth.

Also, my friend gave me a new tote last week. It's black, and it reads: "BROKE IS THE NEW BLACK". "Great!", I thought. Maybe junkies and gypsies now finally stop asking me for money, now that I'm making it official that I am a student, and well, broke most of the time. But then I started noticing that I sometimes received some strange looks while carrying the bag. Then I realized that if you twist and turn and bend the message on the bag, it could be attributed as slightly racist.

GREAT. But, being racist unintentionally is apparently a talent of mine:

Explanation for those who might read this blog and doesn't know the story behind this picture: this was from a friend of mine's birthday party. Theme: ghosts. Her parents figured this was the best way to conform the eight year olds into ghosts.

Ms. Bynes and I

Today, I'm gonna kill two birds with one stone. I'm going to present one of my favorite celebrity meltdowns, which I also would say might be the ideal meltdown.

When I was around 10-11, I was a huge fan of the Olsen twins. I watched all the episodes of "Full House", "Two of a Kind", "So Little Time", read all the books, saw all of the movies. When they sometime in the mid-2000's launched their clothing line for WalMart, I asked everyone I knew where I could find this exclusive clothing store. (No, we don't have WalMart in Norway. Also, we didn't have Internet at that time, so research options were limited. We lived the good ol' amish life for quite a while. My mom became a proud owner of a used dish washer in 2012.) Anyways, with no luck dressing like the Olsen twins, I got a haircut that would match their "Two of a Kind" look, hoping to look a bit more like them.
 

One day, my mom asked me to come and take a look at the girl who was on "What I Like About You". She asked me if I disliked that girl. When I said no, she then said that she thought she looked more like me. I was a bit disappointed that my own mother couldn't just lie to me and tell me I looked like one of the Olsen twins. But alright, I could live with looking a little bit like Amanda Bynes.

That was, until 2013.


Thanks, mom.

But, it turns out, after a trip to California to say hi to my American family, which we all know ended in this meltdown project, it might be the time for me to make sure that Amanda Bynes and I will look A LOT similar. Oh well, I was planning of lightening my hair this summer anyways.

Amanda Bynes does this meltdown thing pretty well. I've followed her journey through her Twitter account, and of course Buzzfeed. I'm too lazy to list everything right now, but I can tell ya it's a lot of crazy going on. Now, I recently read that she might have been diagnosed with schizophrenia. As a fellow human being and psychology student I shouldn't really go on much further. I also have to add that it is fully possible to recover from schizophrenia. But, we cannot deny that she had a perfect meltdown, and she must be congratulated with that.

I have to leave for school now, but I'll be back with more celebrity meltdowns.


I should probably stop going to school gradually now that I'm working on having this meltdown. But, I have to add that I'm only going to school because they're serving pizza. Free food guys, I'm in!

Reflected thoughs around this meltdown.

Alright, so I'm doing a comeback as an extremely underdog blogger (that is, no one reads it, and I don't earn money, such a waste of time, really) after a wish from my host dad. It seems that he has big dreams for the future, whereas one of them involves me having a meltdown and going to rehab, all during a school break.

Guess what? Challenge accepted. I do make dreams come true.

So, what is a meltdown? I asked the Internet, which seems like a legit way to do it in 2014. And Urban Dictionary always seems to have an answer, so here we go;

"1. Describes what happens when a person freaks out, cracks, loses control of themselves. Life - reality at large- becomes overwhelming. They just can't deal with it all. The person may act out, withdraw, become emotional, run, etc... 

 "I was sick and on this one day I had an exam, an essay due, a news print deadline, multiple other commitments, 3 people hogging my limited time, others screwing with my head plus, life outside of college was spiraling out of control. I became overwhelmed and went into meltdown." --If meltdown happens to you or someone you know, just remember; It's not the nicest thing, but it happens. Step back & regroup. That's all you can do."

Okay, now that we have settled what a meltdown actually is, I've come to realize a few things. There are a few reasons why I haven't already had this meltdown. First, I'm too solution oriented. If I feel like I haven't studied enough for my exams, I study harder. When my acne started breaking out again for real after my exams, I went to the doctor and got medication for it. When I miss old friends, I give them a phone call. Second, I don't have enough to do to become overwhelmed. But have no fear, I've figured this out. This is the plan:

1. I have four exams this spring (opposed to the two that I had this fall). One of them is math. I think a meltdown may be approaching solely because of that. AND I may have to spend some classes with high school juniors to learn math at one of the Oslo high schools. Because my brain doesn't work well with numbers. I'm the opposite of excited.

2. I'm getting a job. I've applied for serveral jobs as a sponsor. That must be pretty stressful. If I get it, that is. And if I don't, I've heard that applying for a bunch of jobs and not getting them is quite overwhelming, too.

3. I'm working some shifts per week at a hospital as a volunteer. I'm only assuming that must be pretty stressful, too.

4. This is the most exhausting part: I'm going to go out more and hang out more with people. I've been out every weekend since I came back from Christmas break, and I feel like I've already filled the socializing quota for the rest of the year. Keep dragging the introvert out, and a meltdown is ought to come!

Conclusion: A meltdown sometime during 2014 is not unlikely. I will work hard to make this happen. Maybe this is sort of like metabolism. For my friend, Mina, it's easy peasy. She can eat whatever she wants and not gain a grain. Me? I gain calories only by breathing. And maybe with meltdowns, it's like I'm Mina, super resistant, and for Miley and Courtney Love, it's like they gain meltdowns only by breathing. But I will not judge, because we never really know the truth and the true story behind. Maybe both Ms. Cyrus and Ms. Love did work really hard for their meltdowns. 
 
So, I titled my blog "2013 was Miley's meltdown year. 2014 is Ida's". Hopefully, I'm not lying. But, I must say, although I don't really like attention, I would like to have this year as MY meltdown year and my meltdown year only. There is, however, one person who doesn't understand this. 

 

Justin Drew Bieber. Neither does he respect the law, nor me. Somebody do something about this man/boy/person. He could at least have scheduled 2015 as his meltdown year. Not cool.